Grab your comically flat-brimmed baseball caps, ladies and germs! Puff Daddy is back! Sean "Puffy" Combs has decided to go back to that oh-so-seven years ago moniker that helped launch him to fame. The artist formerly known as Diddy has apparently made a guest appearance on his MySpace to announce the return of the original PD.
Let's see... He's gone from being Sean "Puffy" Combs to Puff Daddy to P. Diddy to Diddy back to Puff Daddy. I thought for sure he could have wrung a few more cool hip-hop names out of his previous incarnations. I had money on him changing his name to Piddy, waiting for that double bill of Piddy and Fiddy. Maybe Puddy. High Five! What about Paddy? Or Duffy? He could be huge in Ireland! What about Dick Cheney? How about Daffy? I don't think the duck is using that one anymore! What about Stiffy? Never mind...
Dude, stop changing your name. Just ask Prince, or should I call him "That Weird Phallic Zodiac Symbol He Used to Want to Be Referred to As? It makes things real confusing at the bank, a place where I'm sure, they all know his name.
Showing posts with label Dick Cheney. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dick Cheney. Show all posts
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Oh, and Illegals are the Biggest Problem Facing the Country
This sent by my good friend and fraternity brother Erich Coelho of Merced, California (do you still live in Merced, Erich?).
I couldn't agree more!
TO BE A REPUBLICAN, YOU NEED TO BELIEVE:
1. Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.
2. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's Daddy made war on him a good guy when Cheney did business with him, and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.
3. Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist, but trade with China and Viet Nam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.
4. The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.
5. A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multinational drug corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.
6. The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches, while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.
7. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.
8. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our longtime allies, then demand their cooperation and money.
9. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy, but providing health care to all Americans is socialism. HMO's and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.
10. Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.
11. A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense, but a president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.
12. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.
13. The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's driving record is none of our business.
14. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for y our recovery.
15. Supporting "Executive Privilege" for every Republican ever born, who will be born or who might be born (in perpetuity).
16. What Bill Clinton did in the 1960's is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the '80's is irrelevant.
17. Support for hunters who shoot their friends and blame them for wearing orange vests similar to those worn by the quail.
I couldn't agree more!
TO BE A REPUBLICAN, YOU NEED TO BELIEVE:
1. Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.
2. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's Daddy made war on him a good guy when Cheney did business with him, and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.
3. Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist, but trade with China and Viet Nam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.
4. The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.
5. A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multinational drug corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.
6. The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches, while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.
7. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.
8. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our longtime allies, then demand their cooperation and money.
9. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy, but providing health care to all Americans is socialism. HMO's and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.
10. Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.
11. A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense, but a president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.
12. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.
13. The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's driving record is none of our business.
14. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for y our recovery.
15. Supporting "Executive Privilege" for every Republican ever born, who will be born or who might be born (in perpetuity).
16. What Bill Clinton did in the 1960's is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the '80's is irrelevant.
17. Support for hunters who shoot their friends and blame them for wearing orange vests similar to those worn by the quail.
Friday, April 11, 2008
The Dick Cheney Sunglasses Mystery
Apparently there was a big hoo-ha about a reflection in Dick Cheney's sunglasses in a photo that was used on the Vice President's website, which I believe is called screwthemiddleclass.com. There was a lot of speculation over what was reflected. It looked like a naked lady, but I don't know if Republicans look at naked ladies ever. I thought it might have been a waterboarding victim. It turns out Ol' Deadeye Dick had his rod in his hands. Get your mind out of the gutter, Larry Craig - it was his fishing pole.
But I'd like to think he had something else reflected in those shades - that conservative cujo, Ann Coulter. I guess that would explain the rod in his hands... I guess...
But I'd like to think he had something else reflected in those shades - that conservative cujo, Ann Coulter. I guess that would explain the rod in his hands... I guess...
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