Top Of The World, MA!

Congratulations to the World Champion Boston Celtics. What a run the Boston area is having sportswise! The Red Sox are Baseball champs, and the Pats nearly won the Super Bowl to cap what would have been a perfect season (and would have sent those 1972 Miami Dolphins looking for the nearest shower rod). The Boston College Eagles had great football and basketball seasons, and the BC Hockey team is the reigning college hockey champ. And now the Celtics have returned to prominence by becoming NBA champs for the 17th time! And they did it in such stylish fashion, with an old-fashioned back-alley ass kicking of the El Lay Lakers. I haven't seen someone become someone's bitch this bad since they put Tobias Beecher in with Vernon Schillinger in Oz. Congrats to Doc Rivers, Danny Ainge ( I always hated him as a player) and Brian Scalabrine, the team white guy. And PLEASE, never, NEVER put a microphone in front of Kevin Garnett again. I went running for my shtreet to English dictionary during his expletive-laden joyous diatribe. And you guys know you're on TV, so stop all the swearing. I grew up as street as most of you and I have never spoken like that in general population (unless I smashed my finger with a hammer), so don't try to say that's the way people from the ghetto talk.

Congratulations Boston, on your sporting successes. I'd move back to Beantown and leave again if it will help the cause. Enjoy your parade. I know you're going to get your drunk on, but leave the rioting to Detroit. And LA.

Can't we all just get along?

Thanks for Nothing, Zeke Mowatt!

As far as I'm concerned, the Boston Herald and their unique brand of "reporting" cost the Patriots their perfect season! I'm sure the portion of Belichick's evil mind that would have dealt with Justin Tuck was the same portion that was pissed off at the Herald costing him all that money. The people of Boston should put down their crullers and their Dunkin Donuts Regular Coffees and storm the Herald's offices with pitchforks and torches!

Maybe this whole thing was a getback for the Lisa Olson incident!

High School Reunions and the People Who Love Them

My 30th High School Reunion (Boston Latin School) is coming up. Don't know if I'll be going; I'd love to go back again, while I'm still reasonably young and good looking. Sorry ladies, I'm taken.

Tom Brady: Theater lover, shoe fanatic? Or, the reason the Patriots lost to the Colts

This just in from my good friend Michael D. in Philly:

"Saturday night we took my Mom out on the town in Manhattan. Limo, swanky dinner, "The Producers" Broadway show, and late night singing show tunes at a Marie's Crisis Cafe in Greenwich Village (I kid you not, your should have seen Jay belting out "Oklahoma" and ""Edelweiss"). Three cheers for Collette, you only turn 80 once. She was still partying at 2:30 a.m. Sunday.

Little Mike and I were chatting up Clare Danes at the bar about her triumphant turn in Terminator 3. "Clare, you are aging well, these are my very annoying brothers." "So lame," she agreed "let me buy you a drink."

Meanwhile, Paul was chatting up a gay couple who had taken in Mary Poppins that evening on Broadway. As Paul droned on about the quality of the singing, the man detected a slight Boston accent. "You're from Boston, you know Tom Brady was sitting next to us at Mary Poppins... and he spent the entire time passionately kissing a woman." "That bastard," said Paul, "he blew the Indy game because he had booked Poppins tickets with the hot supermodel." "I don't know about that," Paul's new friend said, "but he had really nice shoes."'

Mike, please send more stuff. Don't start your own blog or anything. Oh yeah, and Happy Birthday Collette! I hear 80 is the new 39. Any truth to that?