Did Bobby Jindal Make the Smores?

This Memorial Day weekend, John McCain invited a bunch of his Republican bootlickers to his "Ranch in Sedona" (actually his pretend ranch in Cornville, but that doesn't sound as sexy or rich as Sedona). One can only wonder how much fun he and the girls had, braiding each other's hair, watching music videos, painting each other's nails. Do you think Mitt Romney regaled them with a version of "Freddy My Love" from "Grease?"

Meg Whitman, the eBay hosebag, was one of the guests. One can only wonder, did she do like a proper Republican woman and stay in the kitchen, out of McCain's man-cave? Actually she's a Vice Presidential possible. It all makes sense. My wife is a big fan of "Ellen." When Ellen DeGeneres had McCain on her show, he mentioned (with a straight face) how eBay is an example of a successful company, how people are making millions with it. Now I don't know about you, but I don't want a President who is going to tell me things my email junk filter won't even let me read! And did Bobby Jindal start hitting on her once he got the beer goggles on?

I can't wait for the feces to finally hit the rotary cooling device with this guy... from his doddering appearance on Saturday Night Live (is there a more tired show than SNL? An appearance on that means absolutely nothing anymore. Hell, half of New York has been in the cast!) to his shady land deals, a McCain Presidency would be a disaster... we'd be longing for the good old days when Dubya would mangle the Constitution and the act of public speaking at the same time. Much like the people of Iraq longing for the good old days when Saddam would hook their genitals up to a car battery and they'd all have a good laugh afterwards.

Honey, Throw a Few More Twenties on the Fire

So John McCain's taxable income, over the last two years, was disclosed to be $474,104.

The Democratic candidates, Barack Obama (along with his wife Michelle, $5.1 million) and Hillary Clinton (along with Bill, $35 million) also reported theirs. How do John and Cindy squeak by on his paltry earnings? Well, he also gets his Navy pension, which is untaxable (another $114,000). And John also collects Social Security (he is old enough, and it enables him to have a little pin money).

Cindy happens to make so much money that she could probably tell the Treasury what presidents to put on it. She pretty much has the beer distribution market sewn up in a state full of thirsty, golf-playing white guys with nice beer bellies, and where beer and alcohol consumption rank right up there with cleaning and owning guns as entitlements of the conservative class. She owns real estate and part of the Diamondbacks baseball team. Real estate is a little soft right now, so she may be hurting for bucks just a bit.

I hope the McCains can manage to squeak by. But Cindy should go ahead and release the info. Those smug, well-fed know-it-alls of the conservative media made Theresa Kerry release her info (before those swift boat rummies made up all that crap about John) ; it's only fair that Mrs. M does the same. I'm guessing there isn't enough room for all the zeroes on the conventional tax forms.

Certainly John has worked hard for his money and suffered for his Navy pension. But maybe he ought to kick the Social Security money back into the system his party soulmate, Dubya, has bumblasted for the last nearly eight years.

It borders on the nearly hysterical that McCain claims to be more in touch with the common people than the Democratic candidates. If he is, then God help us all.